May I take a moment out of your day to express how extraordinary it is that Autumn is finally here? To put it mildly, it’s Wonderful! Spectacular! Stupendous! In fact, I feel so emphatic about the fact that I would actually exploit a highly under-utilized phrase in my vocabulary and go so far as to say that it is “F@&$%ing Brilliant”! (which apparently I won’t say, even when I say I’m going to say it) (sorry for the tease!, but surely you know me well enough by now to know that my language, ordinarily, really doesn’t consist of these sorts of exclamations) Nevertheless, this is, indeed, how excellent it is….in my book(nvolume)
Why so emotive over an otherwise relatively unremarkable event as the passing of one season into another? Well, since you ask (figuratively speaking, of course)….
Firstly, let me begin by explaining (If I haven’t elsewhere already) that the Sun, in all its radiant splendor and beauty, really doesn’t like me. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that we are mortal enemies, but I could certainly describe Dearest Sol, My Lord Apollo, The Divine Ra as my Arch Nemesis (although that would also suggest that I’m some sort of super hero, which would lead me to the unavoidable 30 minutes of requisite contemplation over a super hero name and super power, but, since that is, perhaps, best saved for another post, I won’t digress any further)(unless you care to offer any (KIND) suggestions).
In spite of the blatantly absent title, the fact remains that the sun and I are not friends, not at all. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love all the fresh fruits and vegetables Summer brings with it and I enjoy a day at the beach like most others do or a stroll on a balmy evening, but there is a reason Master Ra and I don’t get on and that reason is called (in layman’s terms) Photosensitivity to Sunlight. Odd? Yes! Annoying? Reasonably. Something I inherited genetically? Absolutely. (That perplexed look is creeping back into your expression, again, by the way.)
How does that even work? Well, to make a short story interminably long, I am a delicate creature (though no one seems to believe me whenever I say that out loud) with hyper-sensitive skin. When the sun is bright, my skin burns within minutes, I suffer exasperating rashes, and ultimately become quite ill (rather like a Dark Fey) (sorry, shameless self promotion, but it couldn’t be avoided, really). Sun block would be logical, I hear you thinking, and I would be inclined to agree, except that my hyper-sensitive skin also breaks into a rash when I use sun block, change soaps, switch laundry detergents…
(Deep breath)..So, yes, I’m very, very glad I’ve managed to survive another summer reasonably unscathed and am now able to greet the Splendor of Autumn. What’s not to like about Autumn, after all? The refreshingly cooler temperatures, the opportunity to throw on a sweater or an oversized sweatshirt, snuggle deep into a blanket (or a heap of them, depending), enjoy a steaming cup of Hazelnut Mocha Double Chai Latte (which is really just an extravagant, super-charged cup of hot cocoa) and burn candles without having to adjust the air conditioning. (So I guess, to follow my format, that was secondly, thirdly, fourthly and fifthly, respectively.)
I really ought to live in Vermont. I say that a lot, although England, Wales or Scotland would be even more (Insert Under-Utilized Expletive here) Brilliant. (eek, there it is again!) It’s simply the truth. Cool temperatures, snowy winters, breathtaking Autumns, and plenty of rain. Yes, I enjoy a lovely rainy day, fog, thunder, clouds, puddles, brollies: glorious! But then, I’m of a poetic bent of mind and (apparently) enjoy being contrary. (Or at least, distinctly individualistic).
So bring forth the golden, slanting sunlight (which oddly enough doesn’t hurt); the myriad shades of amber, crimson, russet and bronze; the jack o’ lanterns and horns of plenty; carry the sheaths into the barns singing songs of exultation; spike the punchbowl (oh sorry, that’s not until Christmas!) and bake pies, breads and crumbles that will fill the air with sweet, spicy aromas. I, for one, am entirely and expectantly ready!
Beautiful Image found on Pinterest: Credit Acknowledged to the Original Photographer. Thank You!