Comfortably Numb

Ever use this stuff?

Ahhh Chloraseptic, every sore throats dream. Taste? Not too bad, really, cherry cough droppy. Handy? Yep, cute little spray bottle. Dulls the pain? You betcha! Well, for about 15 minutes anyway. Result? Frequent Repetition! Alas, who knew. At least, I didn’t when I was 14 and on a camping weekend with family and friends. Never fails that you end up sick when you have time to go out and have fun and then get better just in time to go back to work (or school in this case).

Nevertheless, sore throat in those days equaled chloraseptic. Thus, when I woke up whining (well, who doesn’t when they’re camping, really) my mother handed me this fantasmagorical little bottle (yep, I made that word up right off the top of my head…marvelous little adjective, isn’t it?) (Might even be worthy of its own post one day!) er…where was I? Oh yes, bottle in one hand, discman in the other…and off I went. (Duran Duran, no doubt!)

So who would have known that such an otherwise innocuous (relatively speaking) concoction of phenol, sugar, cherry flavouring and a few other ingredients would have such a potent and lasting effect? What sort of effect, you quizzically inquire? (with that puzzled expression once again sneaking across your features) Well, using this mild analgesic every 15 minutes does have its drawbacks. For one thing, after about an hour your mouth feels rather like you’ve spent the morning at the dentist and, although the soreness of your throat is alleviated, your balance and depth perception do pay the price.

Shocked? Oh don’t be, I assure you, I wasn’t driving or operating heavy machinery, but after spending the day sipping from the bottle I began to notice a rather curious feeling. One I had never experienced before. One that was not altogether unpleasant, although unfamiliar. One that made my already chattery-nattery nature even more, well, dare I confess it, exasperating. One that made me dance down the campground lanes even without the discman to hand. One that ultimately made a friend’s mother nab the nearly empty vessel from my hand and proclaim with astonishment that I was feeling so peculiarly because I was DRUNK! (insert hysterical laughter here, please!)

Yes, ah yes, I did leave out the minor detail that this innocent looking medicinal remedy’s other ingredient was (at least back then) alcohol, and apparently, a lot of it. Who knew! Buzzed? Absolutely! Fun? Admittedly. (heck yeah!) Unforgettable? Beyond a Shadow of a Doubt. Point? Nope, just an amusing little anecdote for you, with no moral whatsoever (unless you want to take heed the next time you have a sore throat!) No Harm, No Foul. But it certainly lends new meaning to the phrase “Comfortably Numb”.

~Morgan~